You’re worth more than that

 

I hope everything would be fine.. so baby will get what he wants plus him, being able to stay on here is a plus plus point for him for me (definitely!) and all his other friends! 😀

 

Rainbow after rain is what i saw today (so pretty!) as well as what we’re going through now after… that (awesome) shit hahaha.

Even if forever doesn’t last, i know i’ve tried

 

"If only you were me… even just for a moment."

 

True and fair enough, my life doesn’t only revolve around you and yours, doesn’t only revolve around me but why does it seem to me that justic can’t be done to me even after i’ve acknowledged this statement?!

 

For the sake of skipping that oh-so unnecessary quarrel part, time and again i’ve closed one eye. Which explains why… you never did put my feelings into consideration. I very much hope you’re not being ignorant just because i didn’t say a thing.. until today. But i guess i was wrong in believing in you.

 

Like what others say, the first 3 months is one’s couple’s so-called honeymoon period. And i guess ours is only a mere 3 weeks ’cause we’ve broken up and patched back couple of times anyway.

 

Now, bring us back to 3 weeks ago.

 

3 weeks ago, you were not like that. Well at least you respected how i felt and everything. But now? It was just a facade isn’t it. Because here you are… back to your old, original self.

 

If i am only worthy to you when we’re apart then lets be apart for now and forever. I hope not.

“One Year Later”

 

It feels like I’ve been dreaming for a long time

I’ve wandered and wandered for a while

As if we’ve made a promise

 

Standing here in front of each other like that day from four seasons ago

Those beautiful stories that we wrote down together

Those eternal promises that we prayed for at that time

They’re all coming back to me now and I don’t think my heart can take it

I’ve even restrained myself at the thought of you

How has your one year been?

 

For a long time, I’ve been living, having forgotten of you

For a while I thought I was doing fine

However I start to realise as time passed by that I am nothing without you

 

At that time, if only we had been more mature

If only we knew how we would be right now

I have no confidence in overcoming these endless regrets

So I’ve had to just repress them

One year has passed like that

 

Could your feelings perhaps be the same as mine?

Will you give me another chance?

 

I know now that we can never part from each other

The one person that I love and love again

I wish we can go back to our first days

To the beautiful, happy and loving days

 

Those heart breaking stories and vain arguments

Just bury all of that now

And promise that we won’t take them out again

 

No matter how many seasons pass

How many years go by

I hope that we won’t meet like today again

 

♥♥♥ 

Ending

 

Countdown to a new year? Or countdown to the remaining months with love? 😦

 

How i wish… 2009 never ends.

Time waits for no one

 

 

Lets just say that J has only 4 more months here in Sg. And if that is so.. that would be the end of us. Another alternative would be us having a long distance relationship (?) but that wouldn’t work out, would it?

 

If he really has to leave, then i see no point in us dragging this relationship over hundred/thousand miles. Not that i’m finding an excuse to break up (if i wanted to break up i would have done so much earlier) just that… if the worst ever happens, i guess we’ll have to resign to fate then.

 

Well, at least i’ve been through much enough with him and i wouldn’t have any regrets even if he’s my last love.

 

Last night, i told him that besides him i don’t wanna love anybody, anymore.

 

I don’t wanna go over everything all over again. From knowing a new guy to being friends to going on dates to understanding (one of the most tedious process) to falling in love to getting together to compromising to forgiving to accepting his everything… i feel reluctant to do so for another guy.

 

Even though J has presented himself as the worst guy ever, in my eyes he’s still the perfect one for me. After less than 3 years of courtship i have already recognised him as the one for me. Seriously.

 

Nobody is born perfect, everyone makes mistakes after mistakes. This is the reason behind me forgiving him time and again and again and again.

 

This time, i chose to believe him even after everything he did.. hoping if i did, he’ll be more worth the trust than ever.

 

I’m sad. I’m scared. Time is running out. Time ain’t waiting for us, allowing us to construct more memories. But i’ll never cry until the very end ’cause of grief and fear. (If only we wouldn’t have to end.. if only..)

 

To live, to love and to laugh. Why does it seem so difficult now?

 

I really can’t imagine myself getting married to another guy and him marrying another girl. J asked me before if i have ever imagined our dream wedding, i did.. i did… but is it even possible? For us? 😦

 

I’ve found my companion in life. But it may not be lifelong. Sad isn’t it.

 

If i ask for a wish to be granted in exchange of everything i have, that is for him to stay in Sg so that we can be together forever.. can it be granted or is it too much of a wish?

 

 

P.s. Baby, if you ever have to leave.. take me along would ya. 😦

Happy days

 

Daily updates would be on my affliated blog http://effortlesslyours.wordpress.com/ whereas this blog would only be updated once in awhile.

 

Gonna update either tomorrow or the day after. Have got so much to say. 🙂

He’s love

 

 

Moments like that… makes me happy yet sad. Is it possible for this love to never end? I’ve already recognised him as the one (only one) to walk with me hand-in-hand this lifetime…

Because i’m a girl, to whom love is everything…

 

No matter what, i’ll believe in myself and you. Don’t let me down again ok? You’ve always been the one for me even though you feel that you’re far from being a perfect boyfriend. Since the one i’ve chosen is you, don’t doubt it.. just love me with all your heart and soul baby. ❤

Just when i thought the tears have dried up…

 

If only someone could understand the situation i’m going through right now, if only…

 

Should i say i’m fortunate cause i’m (finally) with someone i love or should i say i’m unfortunate cause i’ve been through so much (some which i don’t even deserve) just for the name of love?

 

Time and again i have the urge to kill myself for being so useless.

We both are bad people, bad bad people

 

Only recently i realised.. both of us are the same kind of person. We both need to hurt a third party before realising that each other’s presence is something that we can’t live without.

 

Though there are many many complications between us but no, we didn’t address them all. In fact, we laughed them all off. How did we manage to do that? I don’t really care now. 🙂

 

My baby’s back. I’m back. Seems that both our hearts brought us back.

 

Even if there’s only 4 months for us to be together, i don’t mind at all… even if it’s gonna be the last 4 months of my life with him…

 

Once again my baby. I love you! Hehehe. ❤